Turn my Grief Into Grace
by shadowed breath
Summary: Nasuada is held prisoner in Uru'baen. Her execution being the next day,but she decides to take her own life. Murtagh finally finds out about her feelings for him, But as he barges down the doors of her chambers, he is a little too late. Rated T for death


This is my first attempt at a song fic. Of course its based off my favourite couple, Murtagh and Nasuada. The song used is Grace by Kate Havnevik. I thought it fit the moment. In fact ...it fit the moment perfectly.

Summary: Being prisoner in the palace of Uru'baen, Nasuada decides to kill herself, knowing her public execution would be the next day. She shares her love for Murtagh in a letter, that reaches him just too late. He rushes to her room to find his only love gone.

* * *

_Captive? Prisoner? Slave?_ The Varden's leader sat depressed in the confinement of her lustrous cell. Strangely enough Galbatorix had not thrown her in the damp dangeons when she was captured. He had insisted on treating her like an honoured guest. But that didn't make it less of a prison cell. The windows were barred by magic; Her door was constantly watched by two guards, and she was never allowed to go anywhere without the accompiment of the kings most trusted, mainly the Red Rider. Murtagh, she only hoped that he would not come now. Nasuada sighed, staring at the lacy curtains one last time. The unique patterns on the bedspreads, glimmered silkily in the orange light. She knew what she had to do. And even though it went against all her morals, it was the only thing she could do. Mustering her courage, she cautiously tore the curtains from the window, being careful not to make enough noise for the guards to barge in.

**_I'm on my knees_**

**_Only memories_**

**_Are left for me to hold_**

Murtagh dismissed himself from the King's presence feeling rather gloomy. He had been ever since he had found that Nasuada was to be executed. Oh, if only she had known the way he felt about her. How he had tried to plead with the king. How he had plotted in the wee hours of the morning to find a way of escape for her. But a'las to no avail. The king had kept a close eye on the both of them, making it impossible for her to escape. Murtagh gloomily trudged down the corridors. He had contemplated sharing his feelings for the Lady. But what good would that do? Both of them would only feel worse knowing her death would come tomorrow. "Oh, what am I saying?! She doesn't even feel the same way about me." he groaned opening the doors of his own chambers. He slipped unto the bed, lazilly rolling on his side. Why did he feel this way? He never felt so guilty with anybodyelse? Why was he feeling this way about her? She wasnt that important. ...Lies..She was. She was the most important thing to him. A sign that his heart was still there. A sign that he not lost everything. He threw the cushions bitterly from the bed, screaming. "Why!" A tear slipped angrilly down his cheek. His voice cracked hoarsely. He whispered to no one."Why her...?" He rolled unto his stomach, burying his face into silk red sheets. Suddenly a crumpled piece of paper caught his eye.

**_Don't know how_**

**_But I'll get by_**

**_Slowly pull myself together_**

Nasuada skillfully flung the curtains up against the high bedposts. After carefully tying them into rope like structures, she secured them to the posts. She paused, regrettingly for a moment. _Was she making a mistake?_ What would happen when she was gone? And most importantly, what would Murtagh do? She sighed shaking her head. The few visits they had shared so long ago had bloomed unmistakeable love in her heart. But she had kept it hidden to herself. Locked away in the corners of her mind. She would never let anybody use it against her. And this wasn't going to stop her from hanging herself. Her jaws tightened. "I will **never** allow the King the satisfaction of killing me." she gripped the curtains defiantly. She tugged on them, making sure they were secure. "No, I can't allow myself to think about him...It'll only sway me." She sighed bitterly. Oh, how she loved him. If only she wasn't to be executed, they could have been together. "No. We could have never been together anyway. I will die, but The Varden will live on.." She smiled. Ajihad would have been proud of her.

**_There's no escape_**

**_So keep me safe_**

**_This feels so unreal_**

Murtagh grabbed the paper from the corner of his bed. He sniffed wiping his tearstained cheeks. He sat up opening the letter. His eyes widened recognizing the curly handwriting of Nasuada.

**_Nothing comes easily_**

**_Fill this empty space_**

**_Nothing is like it seems_**

**_Turn my grief into grace_**

"_Murtagh, these will be my last words to you. And though I have kept this trapped inside my heart for so long, this will be the first and last time I will acknowledge my love for you."_Murtagh stared star struck at the letter. She had said she loved him. She ....she had felt how he had. He read on. _"I have hope that one day Eragon will find a way to free you. But there is no hope for me, not now. And I refuse to die by the hand of the king." _Murtagh scratched his head in confusion. "Refuse to die? But..that would mean..." He froze in horror. He dropped the letter to the floor, his eyes barely catching the last of her words. _"My love, know that I will always be with you...Goodbye. - Nasuada"._ He sprang to his feet, dashing down the corridors in a flurry.

**_I feel the cold_**

**_Loneliness unfold_**

**_Like from another world_**

Nasuada carefully wrapped the lacy clothe across her neck. She closed her eyes, keeping her panick at bay. She inhaled deeply then stepped off the bed.

**_Come what may _**

**_I won't fade away_**

**_But I know I might change_**

Murtagh raced down the halls like lightening. He hoped by all the gods that existed that he wouldn't be too late. That she wouldn't...be de...no, he would not allow himself to think like that. "She has to be alive...she...Has to!" He saw her chambers only a few yards away. He ran even faster. "Move! Move out of the way!" he yelled to the guards, struggling to open the door. He shoved his elbows against it, but it had locked from the inside. He flung himself desperately against the door, yelling her name.

**_Nothing comes easily_**

**_Fill This empty space_**

**_Nothing is like it was_**

**_Turn my grief into grace_**

Nasuada writhed, gasping for air as the cloth sunk deeper into her neck. Tears poured down her cheeks. "No, she didn't want to die! What was she thinking!? All she wanted now was to be with him. All she wanted was him to love her. . . For him to save her. She clutched desperately at the clothy rope, failing to hoist herself up. She could her hear him screaming her name. Her legs kicked furiously, as she slowly choked to death. She could hearself rasp, and as the aching seconds grew longer, her writhing ceased. She feebly kicked her legs, allowing the darkness to swallow her up. All too soon she was still.

**_Nothing comes easily_**

**_Where do I begin?_**

"Jierda!" His voice cracked as he muttered the spell. The mahogany doors burst into tiny pieces. Just like his hope did when the sight that he dreaded the most met him. Nasuada hung limply from the top of the bedpost. He quickly rushed over to her, his emotions slipping away like a melting candle. He snapped the curtain from post and gently lay her body on the bed. Her eyes were shut, he could see she had been crying. Her tearstained cheeks shimmered lightly in the dim light. He kissed her forehead lovingly, as tears of his own fell unto her soft hair. He clung to her. Her body pressed against his, he wailed her name, bitterly. He buried his face in her hair. He whispered desperately in her ear, "Oh Nasuada, please come back. I love you...Please come back to me.."

**_Nothing can bring me peace_**

**_I have lost everything_**

**_I just want to feel your embrace_**

No, he couldn't have lost her. Not now, not when she had loved him back. He swallowed hard, gently laying her down unto the silky sheets. He cuddled next to her limp figure. His arms wrapped securely around her slim waist; Her head resting loosely against his chest. He sniffed her dark brown hair, kissing her head softly. The tears never stopped. He closed his eyes, as the two guards watched awestruck by the open doorway. He could imagine her softly saying to him."I love you Murtagh." He murmured back, as the hot tears stung his eyelids. "I love you too Nasuada."

* * *

So deary children, this is my first one shot..and my first song fic..so be nice. The idea just popped in my head today, so I decided to write it. You know, also to give my mind a break from my chaptered story, also about Murtagh and Nasuada. It was actually nice writing this. Very sad though. Lol I actually cried while writing the last part...oh i am such a sap..! (well...sometimes) :)

I hope you enjoyed it. (sorry i killed nassy)


End file.
